Is Doing it All Too Much?

I recently wrote about “doing it all” (see previous blog entry). I read an article a couple weeks ago about how people are squeezing “31 hours of tasks in a 24 hour day” by multi-tasking using a plethora of electronic devices(http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article3735970.ece). Are we all really that consumed with trying to do all? When is doing it all too much? And most importantly – are we setting unrealistic or unhealthy examples for our kids?

I am currently between jobs and I’ve taken a month off to relax, rejuvenate and start my new job re-energized. During my first week off I learned that… well, I don’t know how to relax. Heading into the week, I planned to read a book, write, spend time with the boys and work-out. But as I sat down to read my first book, I'd found my mind drifting to the things I "should"be doing. So instead of relaxing, I headed to Home Depot to buy a door, I got both cars serviced, I cleaned out two closets, I raked the front yard, and so on. As the week came to close, I could feel myself stressing that a week had already passed and, despite all that I had done, I really hadn’t done anything!

I sit a local coffee shop as I write this entry because I know that if I sit at home, I will feel compelled to switch the laundry from washer to dryer, to empty the dish washer, make the bed and pick up shoes – man we have a lot of shoes! At night, I watch an hour of TV during which I fold a load or two of laundry. If I watch TV without folding, I feel guilty. No one makes me feel that way except me. Sleeping past seven o’clock - like I did on Mother’s Day - is a guilty pleasure reserved for holidays. Of course, I didn’t actually sleep since the kids came into my room every five minutes to encourage me to sleep until they were finished making breakfast.

A couple days ago, my oldest came to me before going to bed and started to cry uncontrollably. When I finally calmed him down, he explained that he had not done his homework for two days. When I asked him why he hadn’t done his work, he said that sometimes he just wants to play. Brendan is a very responsible and smart kid so his response hit a chord with me – every kid should be able to play! A couple days later I met with the teachers to see how we could relieve some of the stress. His teacher looked at me and simply said – "Your son wants to be like you. He sees you doing it all and he thinks he can do it too." Ouch.

The night after Brendan’s crying out burst, he actually came to me and asked how I do it all. Without much thought, I told him that I just find away. I now realize that I could not have responded more inappropriately. What Brendan doesn’t see or know is that some things don’t get done… or they take far longer than perhaps they should. Our basement is piled with so much stuff, that I will not let anyone outside the family down there for fear of embarrassment. We have more “junk drawers”then most people have junk. And until last week, my closet was such a mess that finding anything was chore. Oh – and it has been year since I washed my car. I pay people to do things that my parents did themselves.

So how do I do it all? First off, I sometimes don’t do it very well – but deciding what is important help set priorities. Family will always come first for me. Leading a fit life style comes next and my professional career is also up there. If you see me doing it all... it is usually focused in one of those three areas.

Next week I head to West Virginia to participate in an Adventure Camp culminating with a 24 hour Adventure Race. My kids are jealous. Mountain biking, rock climbing, repelling, trekking…I can’t think of anything more fun - except perhaps a surfing camp in Costa Rica (next time)! So this week I WILL relax. I will read a book, I will sit in coffee shops writing, and I will pick up the kids early from school. I will write a little and maybe even take a nap. I will do this all - and I will not feel guilty!