Burn the Ships

It was 1999. I had the fortune of box seats to the WNBA all-star game. The league was young (one or two years old) and while I have never been a basketball fan - it was encouraging to see a women's league that was seemingly well funded relative to other women's sport leagues. It seemed we were heading in the right direction.

Pat Summit and her former assistant coach and then head coach of the Mystics, Nancy Darch were also in the box watching the game. I eased into a conversation the two women were having about the inequities of pay for WNBA coaches and players compared to the NBA. I naively suggested, that thanks to them and other of their generation, women were on the right trajectory and it was now up to me and my generation to keep it moving up and along this path of progress. They both smiled a little – the kind of smile that tells you someone thinks you’re cute. It was the kind of smile that said – we wish you the best of luck, but, but we are keeping our expectations low. At the time, it annoyed me a little. It actually annoyed me a lot.

I have re-told this story many times since my original encounter with these two coaching greats. Early on it was a story of defiance: We had to be the generation to succeed, we had no choice. Later it became a story of hope: Maybe if we just keep plugging away, things will get better. Recently, it has been a story of defeat: Why didn’t my generation do more for our daughters? How could we fail them so miserably?

Soon after the 2016 election, while I was playing frisbee with the usual lunchtime pick-up crowd, one of the guys took several steps towards the other goal while kicking off. Another guy yelled out “What? Are you hitting from the lady’s tees now?” I lost it. I got angry, and I lost my composure. Sure – you could argue the comment was in jest - no harm, no foul. But there is harm. I can go into all the reason why the “lady’s tees” are actually called “forward tees” and why many men with whom I have played business golf should play from them, but it more important to understand that the comment was pejorative. Plain and simple, it was one man was telling another man that he was was “less” because he was playing like a girl.

I was admittedly raw when this incident happened. After all, we had just elected a man that made jokes about groping women, and passing it off as “locker room talk”. No harm. No foul. And certainly, no apologies. In the last several weeks, politicians are being called out for past sexual harassment and assault transgressions. Many people taking sides and defending or repudiating the (alleged) offender along political lines. Let’s be clear - this is not about politics and to politicize the actions of these men is wrong. As the #MeToo movement illustrated, the sexual misconduct outed for politicians and media moguls happens everywhere.

Recently, I have been so angry I want to cry. But I can’t. Not in public. Because I must be strong. Only women cry. And women are weak. You can’t cry in public. Unless you are a man. A man who cries in public is sensitive, well rounded, humble. A man who cries in public is strong. I want to cry, and I want it to be okay.

I watched the documentary “Burn the Ships” on Hulu last night. The movie chronicles one team’s season in the women's professional softball league. As I watched, I realized that our trajectory to equality is slower than I could have imagined in 1999. I was going to be part of the movement that put women in the C-suites, on corporate boards and in the Oval Office. I am starting to feel that my time is passing me by and that my best hope for the future is setting young women and girls up for success. I am admittedly struggling on what that looks like; but I know I’m not ready to give up quite yet.

Martin Luther King Quote Reflections, 1/20/17

I continue my reflection of MLK quotes in context of today’s political environment.

"I oppose the war in Vietnam because I love America. I speak out against it not in anger but with anxiety and sorrow in my heart, and above all with a passionate desire to see our beloved country stand as a moral example of the world."
Martin Luther King, Jr. Anti-War Conference, Los Angeles, California, February 26, 1967.

This quote is remarkably versatile. A fill in the blank kinda quote: “I oppose ________ because I love America…” I’ll put it out there - “I oppose a Donald Trump presidency because I love America. I speak out against it not in anger but with anxiety and sorrow in my heart, and above all with a passionate desire to see our beloved country stand as a moral example of the world."

The most important part of the quote is not the “fill in the blank”. The important part is “because I love America.” This is not about me. Quite frankly, I’ll be okay over the next four years. I’ll be sad, but I’ll be okay. Unfortunately, so many people do not read or listen beyond the first fragment of the first sentence. I want to be very clear - I love America.

I will be attending the Women’s March on Washington tomorrow, where I will speak out with anxiety and sorrow in my heart, and above all with a passionate desire to see our beloved country stand as a moral example of the world.

I have heard many Trump supporters suggest that we need to give Trump a chance to show what he will do now that he is the president. That’s a fair point. However - and this is a big however - I have a hard time opening my mind and heart for a man who calls me his enemy for no other reason except that I voted for his opponent in the presidential race. Basically, Trump and his supporters are asking me to be the bigger and better person. Think about it.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. In fact, if everyone agreed, there would be no reason for a march. It is my hope, however, that everyone will respect my need to march. One of the reason I love America is that I can march in opposition of my president. The right of free speech is a foundation of our government - and I do not take this right lightly. My decision to march is not reactionary - I have thought it through and I believe that I need to be part of the voice. My voice alone is a whisper. My voice joined with others is a roar.

In all my years of voting, I have never felt this passionate about the outcome of a political race. In fact, I have never participated in a protest of any kind. During his inaugural speech, Trump declared that “January 20th, 2017, will be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation again.” As president, Trump is to some degree the conduit of the “people”. In order to be the conduit, he would need to listen to the roar and the whispers of the people. Unfortunately, I have little hope that the Women’s March will influence Donald Trump, except perhaps to make me more of an enemy.

I do hope, however, that those who support Donald Trump, both voters and lawmakers, will be not be threatened by the collective voice of the March. My hope is that they will be inspired by the grand and passionate showing. I am hopeful.

Martin Luther King Quote Reflections 1/16/17

Imagine if Martin Luther King were alive today and he the opportunity to communicate, to inspire, to inform with only 140 characters or less.

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of convenience and comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

MLK, Strength to Love, 1963.

We are in a time of challenge and controversy and now I must ask myself,” Where do I stand?” I stand on the right side of history.

Martin Luther King Quote Reflections 12/12/16

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."
Martin Luther King, Jr. Strength to Love, 1963.

As I rode along the Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial wall on Friday night (see my previous post), this quote caught my eye and then it drew me in. At first, I read it out loud to myself - and then I rode over to my riding companions and shared it with them. The words are so simple, yet the essence of the words are often elusive.

In my previous post, I expressed my belief that while we won’t always agree with others, we should strive to understand how they think and feel. Throughout the campaign and in the post-election environment, I see very little effort in this regard. In fact, behind the relative safety of a keyboard and computer, many people have freely expressed hatred of those expressing views opposite of their own. Some have been emboldened to express their hate openly, in person and in verbal and physical ways. It is easy to say one side is responsible for the hate. Hate for certain races and ethnicities. Hate for police officers. Hate for certain religions. And ironically - hate for a person’s choice to love. And with this election, hate for a person’s vote.

I want to be clear: Sadness is not hate. Anger is not hate. Fear is not hate. I have felt sadness, anger and fear in varying degrees since the election. However, intense hostility and aversion derived from these feelings is - simply put - hate. And when we express these feelings as hate we will never drive out the hate of others. In fact, the hate for one another will only intensify.

There is a clear political divide in our country. But simple calls for inclusion - to “come together” - will not be enough. We need to bring light into the darkness. We need to bring love to the hate. This burden lies with both sides of the divide. It lies at the grassroots level and with our leaders. Our leaders must inspire us at the grassroots to “come together”, but they can not demand it. We, however, should demand inspiration from our leaders and action from the grassroots.

Martin Luther King Quote Reflection 12/10/16

Last night, Kim and I, along with a couple of friends set out on a bike riding city adventure. Often, when we do these rides, we spend time on the National Mall circling the monuments. There is something special about seeing these national treasures late at night, when the air is still and solitude is achievable in an ordinarily bustling corner of the city. The chilly air amplified the quiet and gave me an amazing opportunity to really take in and reflect upon the quotations engraved on the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial.

I have been struggling since the election. Who do I want to be in this new social, political and economic environment? I have always been the voice of moderation - challenging others to see a situation from a perspective different than their own. It is my belief that while we won’t always agree with others, we should strive to understand how they think and feel and importantly, why. Equally as important, we need to express ourselves in a way to help others understand our own positions. But after this election, I have vacillated between angry and sad. I have been unable to be a moderator, a position normally so comfortable for me.

To enter the MLK monument, visitors must pass through the “Mountain of Despair” on their way to the “Stone of Hope” - a tribute to King's "I Have A Dream" speech. As I read the quotations etched on the memorial - which are as relevant today as they were 40 years ago - my path to understanding and my journey of expression became clearer.

My plan is to periodically share a quotation and provide my thoughts as a means of personal expression. Unfortunately, I seem to exist in what many are calling the “liberal bubble” - but I welcome thoughts from outside my bubble as long, as they are respectful and expressed in a thoughtful way to help me better understand the point of view. The goal is not to convert anyone - but rather to promote mutual understanding.

The first quotation along the South Wall:

"We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice."
Washington National Cathedral, March 31, 1968.

I recently wrote a letter to Brendan and in it I expressed how important I think it is for political leaders to be in front of the social curve. A great leader sees the pathway to future justice, despite the walls that are built with the purpose of blocking the path. This pathway exists on “the arc of the moral universe”. It seems at times the path along this arc is a two way street. The path forward towards justice is not only long, but at times, can be rugged. For some, it seems the only way to go is back. Perhaps the path forward is too hard. Too long. Or seemingly unnavigable. And if you are personally wounded along this path, logic may dictate that you go back to what you know instead of moving forward where your destiny is unclear. But a great leader needs to have vision for those who have circumstances that prevent them from seeing the path forward. A great leader listens and understand the struggles people have along the path so that adjustments can be made and when possible, a map can be drawn, A great leader will not only extend a hand to help others get through the rough patches - a great leader will inspire others to do the same.

Today - the path seems longer and and more rugged than it has in decades. Today - we need a great leader.

2012 Summer Camps

We've made it official!  

2012 SolPlay Summer Camp Program Overview

Our Vision is that SolPlay adventure camps will provide enriching outdoor experiences that will benefit children’s emotional, physical, and educational well-being.   In Spanish, Sol means “sun” and elicits thoughts of the outdoors and its vast resources.  SOL is also the abbreviation for Virginia’s Standards of Learning (SOL).  These two meanings converge to form the core theme of SolPlay.  SolPlay will use outdoor adventures to promote emotional and physical development of our campers.  We will also use these experiences as a platform to explore relevant educational opportunities.  These educational opportunities will be seamlessly embedded into camp activities and will be transparent to our campers.


Visit our website: http://solplayadventures.blogspot.com/


I blogged about our C&O Bike experience last year... take a look!

Sol Play Adventures - C&O Canal Kid's Bike Trip

Nine kids, two adults, one teenager, twelve bikes, five days of biking, five nights of camping, tons of support from family, friends and the Arlington community and an idea turns into a reality…

Several months ago, my friend Joey and I came up with an idea to start a kid’s camp that uses outdoor adventure as a means to encourage alternative learning opportunities as well as promote physical and emotional well being.   After talking to friends, family, teachers and school administrators about our ideas for the camp we knew we were on to something that would interest parents and engage their kids.   Word started to spread about our camp - and we needed a name:   Sol Play Adventures.  In Spanish, Sol means “sun” and elicits thoughts of the outdoors and its vast resources.  And Sol Play makes one think of “fun in the sun!”  SOL is also the abbreviation for Virginia’s Standards of Learning (SOL).  These two meanings converge to form the core theme of Sol Play Adventures. 

We decided to test the concept with two camps this summer.  In the inaugural camp, held last week, nine kids joined Joey and I on a C&O Canal Bike Adventure where we explored the middle section of the C&O Canal.  We started our journey at the Paw Paw Tunnel (in Paw Paw, West Virginia), and completed our adventure in Harpers Ferry, WV.

Every day was full of memorable experiences.  On the very first night, we witnessed the most amazing natural light show - courtesy 
among the trees lining the C&O Canal tow path.  We hiked through the nearly mile long pitch black Paw Paw tunnel canal at night, our headlamps night vision setting casting an eerie red glow.  Some of the kids, who were initially hesitant about entering the long dark tunnel, found they were intrigued by the structure and started asking questions about it – opening the door for Joey and I to discuss the history of the tunnel and the canal.  The kids were able to apply information they learned in school and explore concepts in greater detail.  Our goal was to never directly answer a question.   As much as we could, we answered questions by asking them additional questions.  It was fun for Joey and I to watch the kids figure out the answers to their own questions.  It was clear to Joey and I from the first night that the underlying concept for Sol Play was a solid one.

As the week progressed and they got to know each other better, the kids had surprisingly deep and mature conversations - like the one they had about what being “normal” means.  These conversations began very organically by the kids and involved little to no adult interaction.  

Competitive Uno

It was equally rewarding to see the kids sit around a single table eating ice cream in Harpers Ferry as we neared the end of our trip.  There were several empty tables available, yet they all elected to sit together at one table – and talked and laughed for nearly an hour with no adult involvement.   They had bonded as a result of the adventure and it was a good thing!



Dam 4 Caves

The day after our return I surveyed several parents to find out what their kids had thought about the trip and I was pleased to hear that overwhelmingly they had a great time.  Some of the stories they told their parents were expected:  “Glow”, the stray cat we encountered at our first camp site near Fifteen Mile Creek;  eating pies at Weavers in Hancock, MD;  fish nibbling on their toes in Antietam Creek, MD;  hiding in the nooks and crannies of the caves we explored along the trail (headlamps off); bragging about being in the “fast pace group” or the advantages of riding in “leisure pace” group; and observing wildlife, and debating who had the “best” and “worst” of everything.  

What surprised me was that many of the kids' stories focused on their newly acquired knowledge of the C&O canal.  They were eager to explain to their parents how the locks worked, the mechanics behind raising a railroad track over the canal so canal boats can pass under it as needed, why the canal was necessary, why it was ultimately a financial failure and the canal’s role in the Civil War.

Operating a canal lock in Williamsport

The trip left me physically exhausted but at the same time exhilarated.  Sol Play Adventure’s next trip will be August 29^th – September 2^nd in Confluence, PA.  Keeping in line with Sol Play’s mission – the adventure will include educational links, physical challenges, personal achievement and lots of fun.  We still have a couple slots available – so let me know if you are interested!

Antietam Creek - Fishy Pedicure

of thousands of fireflies dancing